Joe Wicks workout for wargamers

Home alone with the children? What an opportunity for hobby time but you may have children to look after. Tried using the garage as a gym? Forget it, too crammed with next year’s projects. Tried going for a walk- really? Sharing the footpath with nefarious near-do-well s and coughing joggers. Why not use your hobby experience for a work out the kids will never forget.

Preparation

Remove Star Wars T-shirt and Homer baseball cap. Today we are going Commando ( pronounced Ko-man-do in a vaguely oriental manner). Explain to family members that regular weights and routines are not used by the combat (Kom-bat) experienced gamer like today’s sensei (you!)

Stage one- Walking to local game store

Five minutes of brisk walking with the occasional glance over shoulders to see if work colleagues may know where you are heading. You know it’s a military simulation but people can be so cruel. Refer to picture below of typical club meeting.

Stage two

Increase the pain!

Lie on the floor face down. Try to raise torso/ continue to lie facedown. This uses the gamer’s innate ability to stay still for long periods of time. Ask your spouse/ life partner for description of said skill. I’m sure that she/he/ zim is impressed.

Stage three- the bounce to action!

Remain motionless until someone offers to go to bar. Jump up and describe how you would like a drink after all.

Stage five
The lost dice fall. Roll forward, kick sideways, check if someone is looking. Claim that dice rolled a six!

Stage Six

The game invite- based on the old adage, ” skirmish game when I’m organising- seven aside Napoleonic multiplayer when you are hosting.” Get your followers to lift as heavy a weight as possible . They may try the John Gallacher go to the shop avoidance tactic at this point. Persist with instructions without demonstrating.

Stage Seven

Girl enters the local game store- drop to floor and you should be a shade of red by now.

This may be followed by the sly look to the side as said female passes by.

Cool Down

Well done. Who said gamers could not stay fit and prepare for later battles. Retire to hobby space in the sure knowledge that you have contributed to the emergency. Any spare energy from group should be expended on light weight cool down….

Stay safe brothers and sisters! 

Love from the Tercio

Despertaferres!