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Salute 2015 Five go mad in Wargames Heaven

imageThe excitement has been building for weeks now……our tickets are bought and next Saturday will be Salute wargames show spectacular! Ken is driving, I’ m navigating, Mike L has stockedup on anecdotes from his recent holiday to Waterloo, Graham is on probation and John G is hoping to limit his spending to below three pound forty ( meal included). What could go wrong?

As is usual, I intend spending as much as possible in a short a time as possible. Bicorne miniatures are a target for ECW project, Eureka and Trent for Napoleonics. Book wise Caliver have a new title on Suvorov in the Alps and I also aim to get a copy of Muskets and Tomahawks. This is going to single handedly re-float the British economy, I feel it in my water! But, we must also remember that such booty has to brought back past die Fuhrer!

A welcome in the Hillside?

A welcome in the Hillside?

So below are some tips, gained from years of frosty stares and silent evenings…….

1. Watch for the warning signs

A spouse will usually display several build up cues before becoming irate. Look for clenching of the hands, frantic texting (to mother or girlfriends on What’s App), crossing of the arms, rolling of the eyes and leaning inward towards you to reduce the amount of personal space between you.

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2. Listen, listen, listen

Her Highness will raise her voice and become demanding, and may begin assessing blame, claiming victimhood and threatening to withdraw “privileges”. Let the rant continue- remember mother’s words, ‘ never-ever argue with a drunk!’

Resist the temptation to interrupt at all costs!

Resist the temptation to interrupt at all costs!

3. Do not mimic the posture or volume of your assailant.

4. Stay loose- keep your wait evenly distributed on both feet. Breathe deeply but don’t for Christ’s sake sigh!

5. Wait for the tirade to end. Offer to make a cup of tea or coffee for my Trans- Atlantic readers.

6. Quietly get up from your seat. Leave the room. Move to the kitchen. Establish your prescence by asking the number of sugars that she requires. Leave the house. Do not return for at least three days.

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I do hope my wargame addicts have found this article useful. Thanks for reading!

I only hope I have been of some help to the endangered wargamer- despertaferres, we are here to help!

I only hope I have been of some help to the endangered wargamer- despertaferres, we are here to help!

With thanks to “The worst case scenario- survival handbook.

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About the Author

Posted by

The wild ramblings of an infamous wit and wargames guru. One of nature's true gentlemen who devotes his time to the care of his two sons, i.e. watching episodes of Peppa Pig together, and recreating great moments of military history using toy soldiers. Currently a leading light in The Collectivo Despertaferres wargames and duelling association who meet regularly at Firestorm Games ( formerly Ali Baba's Carpet Warehouse). Find me also on Facebook "Despertaferres"!

1 Comment so far

  1. Ken

    Like the blog but after we pick up Mike the car will do the navigating for us. |Glad you liked the Muskets and Tomahawks scenario, I will work on some more and when the model is completed for the scenario I am working up to you can be one of the first to try it.

    Liked by 1 person

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